Why All Men Should Pee Sitting Down (at Least at Home)

A stand-up n****, now you sit down to aim

– Jay Z in the song, A Week Ago

It’s Time For Change


Girls, I’m about to make your day. 

Guys, you’re going to want to sit down for this (literally).

I’ve realized that for 30 years I’ve been making a mistake. But finally I’ve been enlightened and now, I invite all men out there to join me:

Gentlemen, it’s time for us to pee like women real men. It’s time to pee sitting down.

Missing the Point

“Aimers” out there who refuse to pee sitting down don’t know what they’re missing.

Actually, they probably do: the toilet. Show me an Aimer who says he never misses the toilet and I’ll show you a liar. It’s impossible. There are just too many variables. (Guys know what I’m talking about.)

Not only that, but even perfectly aimed streams are messy.

They create a fine mist of piss that missed. Though it can be invisible to the naked eye, the nose can’t miss the smell. And it accumulates, creating sticky floors and yellow porcelain. Nobody wants to deal with this, and we shouldn’t have to.

Toilet with seat up, which you'll never have to argue over again if you pee sitting down.
Sights like this—a toilet seat left up—may one day only be seen in anthropology museums.

Keep It Down

Speaking of things we shouldn’t have to do, say goodbye to the endless Up vs. Down toilet seat debate. Let the seat stay down forever more.

Can’t we all admit that picking up and putting down toilet seats was kind of gross anyways?

Spraying Down the Counterarguments

Aimers might still argue, “Yeah, but it’s faster not to sit down.”

Maybe..

But if saving time when using the toilet is the argument, nobody better ever catch you hypocritically reading a magazine or checking their Instagram while dropping a deuce.

Standing up to pee may not even be faster anyway. Sitting down to pee minimizes zipper-related delays (and risks) and eliminates the hassle of fingering around for the ever elusive (and sometimes inexistent) underwear slit.

Think about it this way:

When you’re on the verge of pissing yourself what do you do? You sprint to the toilet, tear down your pants, and pee bare-bottomed like a little kid. It’s the fastest way.

So keep it simple. Drop trou, turn around and pee sitting down.

An Easy Flow

Sitting is pleasant. Instead of having to focus on aiming, we Sitters get the rare opportunity to relax and enjoy the relief of emptying our bladders. Who couldn’t use an extra little break from a busy day?

The advantages of sitting are even bigger in the middle of the night. While Aimers ruin their circadian rhythms by having to turn on the lights to take 2 a.m. tinkles, Sitters are able to pee sleepily in pitch darkness and return immediately to blissful sleep.

Exceptions

With all this said, if there is a urinal, a tree, a disgusting public toilet, or a high bridge or cliff, it is undoubtedly advantageous to pee standing up.

This ability to adapt to various circumstances is one of the greatest gifts given to those of us lucky enough to be born as males.

Be A Man: Pee Sitting Down

A real man is clean, courteous, considerate, and lazy. Sitting down to pee checks off every one of those criteria.

So if you’re a real man, give sitting down to pee a go. You may never want to stand up again.

And if you don’t want to take my word for it, maybe Larry David will convince you:

Women Aren’t Perfect Either

I’m pretty sure there’s no debate about whether women should pee sitting down or not. They have sprinklers, not hoses.

But I’m just as sure most women are wasteful wipers. They’ve been doing it wrong since they were two years old and their mommies taught them some questionable old wives tale technique.

So any men reading this who feel bullied into sitting down to pee by women should get them to read Kim’s post, How to Wipe After Peeing? Maybe It’s Time to Rethink Things.

Are You Willing to Consider It?

See what else we might be able to convince you to try in our weekly newsletter, Consider This.

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Chris and Kim

Kim and Chris started The Unconventional Route in 2018 to share their experiences exploring extraordinary places, things, and ideas. Now, over 150,000 people a month read their questionable advice. Every week, they share a new complacency-challenging and curiosity-tickling idea in their newsletter, Consider This.

70 thoughts on “Why All Men Should Pee Sitting Down (at Least at Home)”

  1. Bro if you can’t angle your stream at the side of the bowl and pee with no splashback or you wiggle your member like an out of control fire hose, sure go ahead and sit down. Men have been peeing standing up for millennia, you soy boy betas might have a little movement going but any man with healthy testosterone levels is going to tell you guys to take your pansy feminist urine theory and shove it.

    Reply
  2. I must say this text amused me a lot 🙂 I have to note that I don’t have any problems to take a pee standing. I hit the toilet easily every time, even when I’m drunk as hell 🙂 Also I have to add that peeing sitting down takes away lots of fun 🙂 Have you ever peed from the high bridge while going home after hours and hours of partying and drinking or have you ever peed from the high cliff to a sea or an ocean in the middle of the night? Guess not when you’re so easily giving up that:) I have a mission to pee to every ocean in the world from at least 20 m height 🙂 I know this is stupid but it also gives me lots of fun at these moments. There’s only one ocean missing at this moment and it is Atlantic 🙂

    Reply
    • Micha, you’re totally right. I have updated the post to specify high cliffs and bridges as exceptions. Basically, when we’re in nature and free to pee wherever, we should wee freely.

      But not inside at home, sorry. Unless you are three feet tall and can barely get your hose over the toilet bowl (or have a three-foot long shlong), I don’t believe for a second you have 100% accuracy, though. Ask your mom or girlfriend or whoever’s had to clean your toilet for you.

      Best of luck with your inspiring mission. I even once considered making a travel blog called “Places I’ve peed from,” so I’m right with you.

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    • Stand or sit…..
      I piss like i choose to piss. One way or the other does not make you any more or any less of a man. Only the sexually insecure will think peeing while sitting makes you a girly-man. Hell, i’ve seen girls pee standing before that would put a man’s stream to shame.(peeled back,straight forward,long distance) Does that make her a “butch”? Is she not a “real woman” for doing so? Highly doubtful! So…. STFU with your BS Mark ! Mr manly man Mark Guilams must be very insecure in his manhood to think he should only piss while standing and never ever while sitting. I can do both while i am at my own home,and am very secure while doing so. Public urination is a whole different ball game. I Always stand and never sit on apublic toilet UNLESS its an emergency duce ! Even then i cover the seat. Be free ! Piss as you choose.

      Reply
  3. this is great for all you guys who don’t have to clean the toilet, and who don’t seem to have any sense of smell. Every single time a man has peed standing up at my place, I can smell the urine.
    The argument that men have been peeing standing up for millennials is invalid, period. You’re disgusting.

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    • No Sam. YOU are disgusting, a disgusting excuse of a woman who doesn’t respect a man’s right to choose to urinate naturally. It’s bad enough there is an assumption that we should cater to women and put the seat down when we’re finished. Check yourself.

      Reply
    • You might be smelling the bin full of female hygeine products, Sam.

      Or the expired cosmetics all over the counter. Or the nasty in the drain. Or the stained, hole-ridden laundry in the hamper.

      Lawd knows ladies leave clumps of all sorts of nasty in the shower. Never put the lid on the toothpaste beside Chris’ Gillette razor, drops of blood on the floor they missed, the excess perfume a few days a month to cover their stank, and bla bla bla. At least urine is sterile!

      Glass houses.

      Can we remove the “stigma” of masculinity the way that women tried to remove the stigma of free bleeds? And above all, can we check the hypocrisy of whatever wave of feminism this is?

      And to Chris; travel blogger gets woke for traffic, doesn’t realise they’re blowing up on Dissenter. You attract the crowd you want to attract, man.

      Health advice usually works better when you’re not shouting down to your audience. You divided your readers for no good reason.

      Stick to travel, and consider making your site GDPR compliant. Users in the UK like myself could take issue.

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  4. You’re such a ball less, cuck of a retard. Don’t got the balls to stand up? Too tired to stand up like a real man from all tat soy milkshake? Then pee sitting, like a bitch. Till then, normal, healthy, real men will piss like we always do. Fuck you and goodnight, sissy.

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    • Wow, if you say things like this about me just for peeing sitting down at home, I can’t imagine what you say about someone who does, you know, actually bad things.

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    • Do you have a manual that dictates the behaviors of “normal, healthy, real men”? I’ll check the “Fiction” sections of the bookstores for that one. It’d probably give me a laugh or two.

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  5. My cock is so huge it’s closer to the water when I stand than when you #metoo pussyhat boys sit down. Mind your own business and let us men piss in peace.

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    • In my defense, my dick’s so far from the water because the toilet bowl at my house is particularly high. It’s kinda weird that you know these things Jim….

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  6. I guess if your genitalia is small enough to fit without touching the water this might work, but I’m not interested in dipping my junk in toilet water and spraying myself with nebulized piss to protect someone else’s delicate sensibilities, or on the whim of some pretentious twat

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    • Hmm, in your case then I agree. Either that or your toilet bowl has way too much water in it because it’s always full to the brim. You might want to try a plunger every now and again.

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  7. If you’re sitting down, how do you check the colour of your urine to make sure you’re not dehydrated? And don’t say check the bowl as my wife uses those blue coloured tablets in the cistern. I think a healthy choice would be a combination of sitting and standing throughout the day.

    Reply
    • That’s quite the conundrum you’ve got there Roy! On the day the cleaner comes to our apartment every week I have the same issue, but I can normally smell a dehydrated pee over the scent of that blue stuff. Can’t you?
      In your case, it seems like your wife likes cleaning a lot, so maybe she won’t mind if you pee standing up will clean up immediately after anyway?

      Reply
  8. Sitting and peeing is beneficial to a man’s prostate as the bladder is being emptied completely when in the sitting position. Standing does not completely empty the bladder which keeps a constant pressure on the prostate. By sitting and peeing the prostate has a chance to have no pressure on it and will possibly help in keeping it a more normal size.
    I learned this from my Anatomy & Physiology Prof in University. I raised my son as a sitter and my husband changed his ways as well. Recently, my husband (65) went for a physical exam and his doctor said he had the prostate of a young man.

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    • Thanks for the interesting tidbit, Lisa. From an evolutionary STANDpoint and from my own experience, claims that sitting down to pee does a better job at emptying the bladder doesn’t seem to make sense. But if it’s true, I’m glad it is!

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  9. Another self-indulgent lost millenial soy, whose wife gets satisfied by other men. What is with you people? You are completely lost, you aren’t happy and you’re kidding yourselves with this cheap lame whimsical sexualised nonsense.

    Go and get a job doing something real so your wife can respect you.

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  10. More disgusting cultural Marxism. No good reason for this what so ever other than to get men to start acting like weak cucked bitches squatting to pee as a way to redistribute social power. I say we start pissing on the graves of known communists standing up of course.

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    • Yes, if for some reason I were to ever want to piss on someone’s grave (maybe it’d help the grass grow?), I too would pee on it standing up since it’s unlikely there’d be a toilet seat there.

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  11. How many urnals and public male bathrooms have the dividers rusting from splashback. I pee sitting down at home because it’s relaxing. Also maybe because I have a good flowing stream unlike some of these “only stand up betas” I don’t throughly enjoy the thought of piss water splashing out of the toliet and onto everything. Just because you don’t feel it or see it doesn’t mean it’s happening. These guys that say otherwise probably fart bare ass over their food before eating because, “Ain’t no shit on it because I don’t see it. While in the wilderness I usually climb up to the highest point and piss off it just because. Typing this comment out now as I sat down to take a piss. Glad to know there’s another real man out there. Stay hydrated brothers.

    Reply
    • Amen, JF. I enjoyed farting on food comment. Come to think of it, there may come a day where some fitness fanatic recommends farting on your food (or others?) it to get more positive bacteria in your diet.

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    • I was standing around with my group of coworkers waiting to clock out at the end of the day. All of sudden, somebody let one totally rip. Everybody was gagging. Then one guy says, loudly, “You know, farts are actually microscopic shit particles.” There was a huge “groan” by everyone, followed by the longest, loudest burst of laughter I’ve ever been a part of. While that guy’s statement about microscopic shit particles is technically not completely correct, and the subject is not in keeping with this thread, I just love telling that story, so there it is. I hope you enjoyed it.

      Reply
  12. My toilet is definitely cleaner than yours because I sit down but when I’m out I stand up. No brainer, it’s an issue of cleanliness and commonsense.

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  13. Im here to say i can count on 1 hand how many times ive missed the sweet spot behind the pool and those times arent even my fault really, thats either because A, I was drunk and tried my luck or B, the notorious double stream. I dont get a speck of piss anywhere but in the toilet i think, it takes no time to take a leak so its really just a hastle to sit down, so no point. Save myself for the number 2’s lol. I share apt with a dude thats also a gifted person and we really dont have to clean the toilet, under the ring. I care very much of mistakes so ive always batted an eye towards the toilet after a piss, always flawless. I even do 3-4 last “empties” sometimes, never missed those i think

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    • Impressive, Notevenaliar. Are you super short (or exceptionally short-legged or well-hung) by any chance? If not, and what you say is true, good for you. Personally, I’d still prefer to sit down to not have to focus on aiming.

      And thanks for reminding me of the “notorious double stream,” which I haven’t had to worry about since sitting down. That definitely was worrisome nemesis back in the day.

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  14. i have a black and white stick figure photo laminated on the back of my toilet that has big scissors cutting your wee off if you don’t sit and dangle it in the bowl. which i could upload to show you. but yea!! i am a single gay woman with 2 brothers and lots of boys using my bathroom and everyone comments on it!

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  15. I started sitting to pee after being married to a woman who NEVER cleaned the bathroom. I learned on my own that standing causes spatter, whether or not you hit the hole. I went from having to clean the bathroom nearly every day to only having to do it once/week. If I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done. Yes, I was married to a slob of a woman. When we were dating, she often left rotting dishes in her sink. Not married anymore, BTW…

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    • Hey Keith. I have to say that while I get a kick out of the comments from the trolls on the post, yours is my favorite yet. Actually insightful but also amusingly colored with your comments about your ex. Your, “Not married anymore, BTW…” at the end when it was already abundantly clear was a cherry on the top. Thanks for the chuckle!

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  16. I started sitting to pee at home years ago. I wear sandals and no socks virtually all the time and noticed that no matter how “accurate” my aim in urinals, and given that a urinal provides far more shielding than a toilet does, I could always feel a very fine mist on my feet that was invisible to the eye. It is simply a case of practicality to a avoid spraying the toilet and its surrounds unnecessarily.
    Even if you are the type that never cleans the bathroom yourself, who would be such a disrespecful arsehole to expect their significant other to clean up after them? Only an ignorant saddo Neanderthal redneck sans toilet training who actually believes his manhood is determined by whether he sits or stands to piss and thinks it clever that someone else cleans up after him. Total losers.

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    • Thanks Andy. I like how you specified you wear sandals with no socks virtually all the time. On a related note, I suspect people who wear socks and sandals are the same ones who insist on peeing standing up at home for manhood reasons.

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      • My husband just couldn’t get it through his head that he wasn’t as accurate as he thought he was when standing. My dad has prostate issues, so my mom bought him a UrineAide, which got him peeing straight and preserved his manhood. I got one for my husband – problem solved. He now pees directly into the toilet like a human being, lol. Anyway – it works, if anyone is interested urineaide.com

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        • Oh wow. Thanks for sharing this contraption, Katelyn. I’ll stick to sitting down, but I could see how this could appeal to some. And it’d make a good conversation-starter for guests, too!

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  17. A urologist told me that when you pee sitting down your bladder doesn’t fully empty as it does for a woman and that it can cause complications including infection.

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    • Thanks Crom for a reasonable comment amongst all the madness above! Did the urologist say how likely complications may be? I like to think it’s not as big enough of a risk to outweigh the benefits but I stand to be corrected. (Or, will stand if I’m corrected, haha.)

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  18. Trying for all these losers to understand common cortesy behavior is a waste of time.
    Assholes, get yourselves a black light and check your toilet and surroundings after, I DARE YOU.
    You idiots really think you are some type of almighty being that urinates without splashing? Morons.
    Who the fuck do you think you are to believe others have to sit on your fucking pee? Or worst if you have small children around touching and getting in contact with your nasty germs.
    How would you feel going to a toilet and finding blood cloths floating around or blood drops on the toilet lid? Oh, sorry, is inevitable and bound to happen, and yet we make sure not to leave any evidence of it out of respect to others.
    Seriously, some even saying “the natural way”??? Wtf?
    This is why nature is making sure the male gender disappears. That’s the reason why many females are lesbians and many guys are trans.
    No need for this type of homosapiens attitude anymore.

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  19. A “real” man’s masculinity is something that derives from his OWN principles. It’s not based on the approval of others. So stop telling people what a “real man” shoul be.

    Anyways, I’m 32 years old. If pissing while sitting down were really a more convenient way to relieve myself I’m pretty sure I’d have already figured it out a long time ago on my own. There’d no need for anyone to convince me.

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    • Fair enough. Where does conscientiousness fit into your definition of being a real man? If you clean your own toilet and prefer to pee standing up, good on ya.

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      • Conscientiousness is a big thing for me. Hypersensitivity is not. Apparently we might disagree on definitions. My wife cleans our toilette. And yes, I pee standing up.

        Life’s too short to be worried about droplets of piss that can only be detected by using a blacklight. That would be the epitome of a first world problem.

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  20. Men should sit down when they piss if they can, mostly because it’s a lot more sanitary, no doubt.
    You can’t see it, but piss splashes all over your body, hands, arms, clothes, shoes, and face in some cases. It’s a no brainer. The black light tells all, and I have witnesses this training people to get their food handlers license.
    So if you sit down to piss, remember it’s a lot cleaner, and you don’t have the embarrassment you would have if you pissed all over the place by accident.

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    • Interesting food handlers license perspective on sitting down to pee. I hadn’t considered that. And pee on the face!! They must have a strong stream. Thanks for sharing, Steve.

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  21. I agree with the not standing to urinate, but the argument for not sitting but squatting to defecate seems a little silly. If you just sit down, lean forward, and rest your elbows on your knees, then your achieve basically the same anatomical position as squatting.

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    • I see what you’re saying Daniel and am the farthest thing from an expert so I could definitely be wrong. The whole squatting to poo thing could be a bunch of new-age, Goop-esque, mumbo jumbo. I’m compelled by books like Gut, the evolutionary rationale, and Squatty Potty’s video. If you have counter-evidence, please share so I can explore. Thanks for the comment!

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  22. Wow. Way to go implying that men stand to pee beause they have penises.
    *Not * All * Men * !!!
    Some men have always sat down to pee because they can’t afford a stand-to-pee device, and
    Lots of women stand to pee because * some * women * have * a * penis * !

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    • Hi Elliott. Are you referring to people who identify as and but don’t have penises and who identify as female and have penises? Ok. More reason not all men should stand up to pee.

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    • Its a customery to pee sitting in India. Elderly folks do follow same till date. However coming generation have missed on same. It has many medical advantages too, one may realise this probably after there forties.

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      • Thanks Nikhil. Interesting points. Advanced age probably has negative effects on aim, so I bet quite a older people all over the world start sitting down to pee because of it. I’ve never heard of medical advantages though. Please elaborate if you can.

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    • I’ve never seen a woman with a penis and I spent many years working as a nurse as a side job. Even hermaphrodites aren’t strictly female but have a range of mixed characteristics. It’s also extremely rare. There are also men born with 2 penises. It doesn’t make them twice the man.

      Women with penises! LoL, at least I got a great laugh out of that comment. Thank you!

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    • A woman with a penis?!? Maybe you missed the biology classes that dealt with anatomy, or maybe you’ve never had a girlfriend, but women don’t have penises man! A penis is a MALE organ, not a female organ!

      Reply
  23. I stumbled upon this article after going through a rabbit hole to prove my girlfriend wrong about something totally irrelevant (lol) – and holy sh*t, this comment section is crazy, I’m so sorry you received these overreactions. You probably laugh at them but I found them so disheartening, very different from the attitudes of the guys I surround myself with. I hope you and your partner are well and taking care of yourselves during this stressful time. Much love from Australia

    Reply
    • Thanks, TMIG. Yeah some of the comments are definitely from a part of the world I’m not familiar with either. I like to think they’re intentionally over the top and that nobody can take peeing that seriously.
      Thanks for the comment, and hopefully you succeeded in proving your girlfriend wrong (may I suggest the anti-Sledgehammer technique for changing people’s minds next time?)

      Reply
  24. I believe that this process is kind of personal and neither you or people in the comments of this post have right to tell me how to do it. I prefer standing up personally , but there is no problem with sitting down if you like it . Nobody should care about how others pee and/or tell them how to do that , it’s just stupid and creepy

    Reply
    • Hi Felix. Thanks for the comment. I wasn’t actually telling you. I was telling other people. I knew you wouldn’t listen and didn’t care about having piss all over the place at your bathroom at home.

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    • Thanks for sharing Erin.

      Interesting stuff there. I liked, “I have seen splatter marks nearly at eye level. No joke.” My only critique is the author buried the lede by saving the most important line for last, “Or men could all just sit down.”

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  25. My boyfriend pees sitting down and it’s honestly one of my favorite qualities that he has. Less cleaning the bathroom for me! If you thinking sitting down to pee somehow makes you less of a man, then I guess you won’t have to worry about keeping your bathroom clean for your girlfriend – because (I sincerely hope) you’ll never get a girlfriend. #toxicmasculinity (P.S. Even my boyfriend in high school peed sitting down. This isn’t new, and all men should do it!) Sending good vibes to Chris & Kim (P.P.S. I got here because I just realized how much TP I waste when wiping so I found Kim’s article… and then I had to read this one, plus the comments, out of curiosity.)

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  26. I have no problem saying that I sit to pee. I’ve been doing it proudly for 40 years. I grew up in the country where I could walk out the back door and pee off the back porch without a chance of being seen except, perhaps, by a U2 Spy plane. I spent 30 years between the military and firefighting and I’ve never been accused of not being manly. So yeah, I sit to pee just as my father told me to do. He was right. It’s so much cleaner than standing. Also, I share the cleaning duties with my wife and I hate cleaning urine off the floor or anywhere else it might land. I’ve also taught my 2 sons to do the same thing. I’ve talked with my friends who have boys and they always complain about how bad the bathroom is. If I’m in public, it’s the urinal for us. At home, we sit because we like a clean home that takes less time to clean. My wife grew up with brothers and appreciates men who prefer to sit. Change that one little thing and you might be surprised how much your wife will appreciate it, especially if she’s the primary cleaner.

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  27. I’ve been sitting to whiz at home for 40 years, which happened to also be the beginning of the same time that I was the only person using AND cleaning the toilet. I’d always considered my aim to be impeccable, but when it came time to do the cleaning, I’d find that there was always a film of piss on and around the toilet. It didn’t take me long to realize that no matter how you aim, there is a significant amount of splashing going on. So, I did the nasty job of cleaning up the piss one last time and have been sitting to pee ever since. If I’m a guest at someone’s house who has a clean bathroom, I sit in those situations, as well, as a courtesy to my hosts. If I’m in a nasty bathroom, I’m standing. Outdoors, standing. My guess is that the naysayers have either never cleaned a toilet, or they have “issues” that they ought to deal with. Sitting is the logical choice. Why make more work for myself if I don’t have to?

    Reply

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